Okay this is going to be long so bare with me…
Yesterday I laid not just my husband but my absolute best friend in this universe to rest. I keep waiting for my phone to ring with his special ringtone or my text to go off and it be him. I kept pleading for God to give me a sign. Not that I have any doubt that he’s on the right hand of our Father but I just needed his presence. Two times I’ve looked at Taylor and said “you know dada loves you” and each time he has placed his small
Little finger on my nose as if he’s saying “well dada loves you too”. Another time I just was simply getting him to say dada and he kept
Pointing up. Call it a coincidence if you want but I know better than that. Everyone keeps telling me “ you’re so strong” and I don’t feel that way but what I do feel is Justin beside me holding me up. He was always the strong one so maybe this strength he left behind for me. Just like anyone I keep asking myself why? Trying to make sense of the senseless. I still have no idea why but what I do know is God has huge plans, specifically for me, to carry on Justin’s legacy. I will be praying hard in the next couple months on how exactly this will
Be done but I trust in God to guide me. I always want to say thank you and I wish that I could tag every person but it would thousands of people.
To my friends and family that have not left my side. Before I could even ask for Something they were there with it. love you guys more than words.
To my second my family, my law enforcement family…. I don’t even know where to begin. I know Justin and I have always been a part of it but the love you guys continue to give me, gives me a kind of comfort that I’ve never felt before. Not only from the MPD but from across the state and country.I love you guys so much and you’re probably going to get sick of seeing me around the department.
To the community: Your support has truly been the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. You guys have gone out of your way time and time again to support us, to offer kind words, and to just show your respect. All I ask of you is to continue this attitude towards our officers and first responders. They are not bad people, they are amazing men and women who get up everyday to protect and serve you and want to do so. I strongly encourage you to do a ride along so you can see exactly what they do. It’s easy to be a back seat driver to someone’s job but until you see what they do you won’t understand.
To the media, I thank you for being respectful in this time.
And my last plea for everyone is so to seek Jesus and know Jesus. He loves everyone no matter what sin or what past. When I start getting worked up I start to feel a sense of calmness come over me. Because Justin is patrolling the streets of heaven right now and watching over me and Taylor.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”-Matthew 5:9
Justin Taylor, I am counting down the days until I get to hold you again.
–Erin Billa